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There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.