Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is nothing more annoying than a couple who just got back from vacation.
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
I saw a midget carrying a tv to his car today. I said "hey, would you like some help with that plasma?" He said "f*ck off asshole, it`s an IPad!"
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!
I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80`s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.