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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.
Smelling another person should be a choice.