Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
I can`t believe that it`s almost the year 2014 and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?