Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Screw Folgers, the best part of waking up is knowing I survived last night`s drinking.
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
Never squat with your spurs on
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
Bad decisions make good stories.