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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
Don`t believe everything you think.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I`m just standing here...50 yards away, waiting for the restraining order to expire.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
wife: It`s ruining date night me: It`s ruining date night because you`re letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: Just drop me off on the corner
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.