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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
I bought my mother in-law one of those atomic clocks. I can`t wait for the alarm to go off.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.