Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
Aren`t you too fat to be this rude?
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor