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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
My top 5 exercises: -Jumping to conclusions -Flying off the handle -Carrying things too far -Dodging responsibilities -Pushing my luck
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
I would`ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited `til it was dark instead.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!