Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
The Drug Store cashier asked me how im doing as I put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "Not great man, I`ve got diarrhea" I told him.