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I wish my mind had a delete button.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.