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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
I grew up for this?
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today