Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat