Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
I just awesomed all over the place.
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we`re getting somewhere.