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"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]