Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
If Wendy`s think their square burgers are so awesome, why don`t they use square buns?
The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.