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My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
So it turns out being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.