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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
I’m great at remembering names. I just don’t remember which one’s yours.
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
Is Nudeism a religion?
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....