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My wife’s new cooking show will be called, "Do you smell Something Burning?"
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
It`s okay I`ll text myself back.
when in Rome get naked ;)
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.