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At a four way stop, it`s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty