Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered...WAS I drunk the whole time?
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.