Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
We get it poets: things are like other things
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.