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JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
When asked `What would you bring with you to a deserted island`, how come no one ever replies, `A boat.`?
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Of course you should follow me. I’m funny. Ask anyone. Well, except my mother-in-law. Don`t ask her.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....