Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
Life`s too short for Salad..............
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.