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is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
My cardio is shopping.
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”