Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.