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Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.