Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
When I squeeze a tube of `whitening toothpaste` and it’s blue, I’m like, well this is off to a bad start.
I drink because people talk.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.