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The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
loosing weight tip: turn your head to the left then to the right. Do this everytime you are offered food.
Can you imagine how sexy I`d be if I ate right and took care of my body... I`m not going to, but can you imagine
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?