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Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
I want to sleep tighter
Can`t they just make a "Poke infinity" button?
I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.
AWESOME!
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!