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I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
lol I rotfl
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.