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I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
Find someone you`re good at.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.