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Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.