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The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
I ran out of coffee this morning, whisky seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
These kids next door to me need to quit yelling. I`m about to wake up their mom and send her back over there.
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
i dont have drain bramage.