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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
I`m afraid if I start working out, I`ll be too sexy
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.