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I wish more people were fluent in silence.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
´s status message is better than yours
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
Why do people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything? How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m a jerk.
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.