Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
Thought for the day: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that is where sh!tty ideas come from!
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
Dear who ever’s reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.