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I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
I accidentally shoveled the sidewalk all the way to the bar again.
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
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Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.