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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
My spouse thinks I`m crazy. But I`m not the one who married me.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
Never squat with your spurs on
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.