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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
What if the weather talks about us?
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC