Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
Mom: Some scary old lady keeps FaceTiming me. Me: Mom, turn your camera around and she’ll go away.
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.