Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you’re moving.
I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves