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I don`t care about your status...
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.