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Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.