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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
You ran a marathon? I ran like 5 red lights this week...
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
Pro tip: Go the the gym on one of those 1 day free passes, take 365 selfies then post one every day.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don`t cut it.
Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.