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Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Answering all questions with "but you ain`t got no legs Lieutenant Dan" stops people from asking you questions.
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.