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A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
When I was young I dreamed of saving the world, now I just dream of making through each month.
I`m not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat`s hair grows back.
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
My brain has too many tabs open.
I`d love to have kids one day. Two days, tops.
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.