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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
"I`d like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it`ll go EVERYWHERE."
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm ... So I peed on her
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.