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I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.