Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat`s hair grows back.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.