Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, `13...13....13...13.` The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting. `14...14...14...14....
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
Sometimes you just have to logout...
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......