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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.