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Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
My wife thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.