Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty