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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos!
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
If you need Facebook to remind you it`s your wife`s birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.