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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
The most expensive part of having kids is all the booze I drink.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
I want the job of placing pepperoni slices on frozen pizzas, because clearly whoever has it is now has problems.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.