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It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
Life is like a p@nis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard
Marriage. The world`s oldest form of identity theft.
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
why do i feel like you are reading this
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
Walmart does not have a dildo section. But it`s always fun to ask their employees if they do.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
So... Where does one obtain minions?
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.