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Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
I don`t know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
Sometimes words are not enough. That`s why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Calling your girlfriend beautiful because you forgot her name.
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.