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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
"Do you have a charger?" is the new "Could I bum a cigarette?"
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?"
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window