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7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless sheβs laughing at your junk.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
Water is life; without it we wouldnβt have coffee, whiskey or beer.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighborβs trash so you donβt get robbed.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didnβt hear you the first 100 times.