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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
My girlfriend is half my size but takes up three quarters of the bed. If my math is correct, she’s a b!tch
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.