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Just drank a `coffee to go` while sitting. Screw the system!
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
I really don`t have time for people that don`t find me hilarious.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.