Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
I`m on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers.
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
I`m as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......