Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
Just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
Woke up to gun shots this morning. Luckily my wife has horrible aim.
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.