Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
Men are like dogs. Weβre excited to see you and have no clue what youβre mad about.
I hate waking up all hungover, eyebrow shaved, and a d!ck drawn on my face ... Especially since I was drinking alone last night.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. Itβs called Lunch.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
This post was going to be really funny but I didn`t write it down because I was totally sure I`d remember it.
A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke.
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.