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Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool